Life throws curveballs. Business plans shift. Kids get sick. Launches flop. Holidays fall through. The to-do list grows faster than you can tick things off, and sometimes it feels like no matter how hard you try to keep everything running smoothly, something still comes along to knock the wind out of your sails.
But here’s what I’ve learned – and keep learning, over and over again:
You don’t always get to choose your circumstances. But you do get to choose how you meet them.
And that choice? It’s what changes everything.
Let me take you back to a moment I’ll never forget.
The Day the Passport Expired
It was Easter, 2014. We were heading abroad for a much-needed family holiday. The kind of holiday you dream about for weeks in advance – bags packed, itinerary loosely scribbled, and three kids absolutely buzzing to be off on an adventure.
And then, less than 24 hours before we were due to leave, I made a sickening discovery: my daughter’s passport had expired.
Cue the instant dread. The “how did I not see this?” guilt. The frantic scramble to find a solution, knowing deep down that there was no way around it.
It would have been easy – and honestly, very understandable – to spiral. To let the stress and disappointment of that moment ruin what was meant to be a joyful break.
But something shifted for us.
After a few hours of panic and processing (and trying to get a new passport!), we made a conscious decision: we could let this derail the whole holiday, or we could adapt and salvage what we could.
We chose the latter.
Pivoting with Purpose
Instead of boarding a plane, we booked a last-minute trip here in the UK. Was it what we planned? No. Was it stress-free? Also no. But it turned out to be one of the most memorable and beautiful holidays we’ve ever had.
We laughed. We explored. We pulled together as a family. We lost some money, yes – but we didn’t lose each other, or the time we’d carved out to connect, reset, and just be.
That experience taught me something powerful: it’s not always about what happens to you. It’s about how you respond to what happens.
Your attitude is everything.
Energy, Perspective, and the Mental Load
As a coach, a mum, and someone who’s no stranger to burnout, I see this pattern in my clients all the time – and I’ve lived it myself.
When things feel tough – whether it’s personal, professional, or parenting-related – we often carry the weight of that challenge as if it’s fixed, immovable, unchangeable. But the real energy drain often isn’t the circumstance itself – it’s the resistance to it.
The constant thinking:
“This shouldn’t be happening.”
“This isn’t fair.”
“I should have done better.”
“This is stopping me from moving forward.”
It’s this internal struggle that exhausts us more than the situation itself.
When you’re ambitious, capable, and used to pushing through… it can feel counterintuitive to pause and ask:
“What if this situation isn’t the enemy?”
“What if how I’m thinking about it is what’s keeping me stuck?”
That simple mindset shift can bring so much more peace and energy than another productivity hack ever could.
Shifting from “Why Me?” to “What Now?”
Here’s the difference between staying stuck and finding your way forward:
- Staying stuck sounds like: “This is unfair. I can’t make progress until this changes.”
- Moving forward sounds like: “This is hard. But what’s still possible despite it?”
You don’t have to love the situation. You just have to stop fighting it long enough to work with it, rather than against it.
That’s where the magic is. That’s where energy, clarity, and creativity live. That’s where you stop spiralling and start taking back control.
And honestly? That’s where most of the women I work with begin their real transformation – not when everything is perfect, but when they change how they view the imperfect.
This Isn’t About Toxic Positivity
Now, let’s be clear: this isn’t about pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It’s not about glossing over grief, stress, or real-life challenges with a smile and a Pinterest quote.
It’s about radical acceptance – the kind that says: “This is my reality right now. So how do I want to deal with it?”
It’s about reclaiming your power in the moments that feel out of your control. Not by fixing everything, but by choosing how to think, feel, and respond – even when it’s hard.
So the next time life throws you a curveball – whether it’s an expired passport or a period of feeling stuck in your business – pause. Breathe. Ask yourself:
“Is this situation really the problem…or is it the way I’m looking at it?”
You might just find that what felt heavy, frustrating, or hopeless a moment ago, suddenly feels lighter. Not because anything outside of you has changed. But because you have.