December has a very particular kind of energy. It’s busy, emotional, nostalgic, chaotic, and, let’s be honest, full of expectations. Everyone has an opinion on what you should be doing, where you should be going, and how you should show up.
And if you’re someone who has recently changed your habits, your lifestyle, or the way you protect your energy, this time of year can feel like one big test.
I’m recording this [podcast episode] from a weekend away with friends I’ve known for years. It’s one of my favourite traditions, but it’s also one that used to completely drain me. Late nights. Lots of alcohol. Constant socialising. No quiet moments. No boundaries. Just a full-speed sprint through the weekend.
Back then, I thought that’s what made it special. But in reality, I came home exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from myself. Over the last few years, I’ve changed the way I approach these gatherings. Not because I don’t love my friends, but because I’ve finally learned to honour what I need. And this shift has highlighted something so many women struggle with: How do you hold your boundaries when everyone around you wants you to be who you used to be?
Let’s talk about it.
Why Boundaries Feel Hardest During the Festive Season
The holiday season turns up the heat on everything – schedules, social lives, family dynamics, expectations, and emotional labour. You’re pulled in multiple directions, often by people who genuinely mean well but have no idea how much energy you’re juggling.
Add in old traditions and long-standing friendships, and suddenly you’re being nudged (or pressured) back into habits you’ve worked hard to let go of.
For me, alcohol was a big one. Five or six years ago, these weekends away were fuelled by Prosecco from the minute we arrived. I’d wake up feeling awful, push through, drink again, and repeat. That was the vibe. That was the expectation.
Like many women, once I changed my relationship with alcohol, the dynamic shifted. And yes, people commented. People pushed back. People didn’t like it.
Your Choices Might Trigger People – And That’s Not Your Problem
One of the hardest truths to swallow is that when you change, not everyone will be comfortable with it.
People may:
- Make comments
- Try to persuade you to go back to your old ways
- Make jokes
- Downplay your choices
- Tell you you’re “boring” or “being dramatic”
- Try to drag you into their habits
This doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It means they’re confronted with something within themselves.
When someone chooses differently, it can feel confronting to anyone who hasn’t questioned their own habits. It’s not about you – it’s about their discomfort. And that’s where many of us crumble.
This is where people-pleasing pulls at your ankles. Where FOMO gets loud. Where your old identity and behaviours try to hook you back in.
But here’s the question that I now ask myself, and that has changed everything: “What do I want from this experience?”
Not “what do they expect?”, “what will make them comfortable?”, or “what will stop people from commenting?”
When you anchor yourself in what you need – in my case that’s rest, early nights, less alcohol, quieter conversations, space to recharge – your boundaries become easier to hold.
Honouring Your Energy Isn’t Selfish – It’s Generous
This is the piece that so many women struggle with.
Choosing differently doesn’t mean you love people less. It doesn’t mean you’re rejecting them. It doesn’t mean you’re being awkward. Or that you don’t respect what they need or want.
For me, choosing not to get drunk all weekend means:
- I’m actually present in conversations
- I listen deeply
- I engage with my friends without feeling foggy or drained
- I wake up feeling good
- I’m more energised and grounded
My friends get the best version of me because I’m honouring my boundaries, not in spite of them.
When you show up well-rested, grounded, clear, connected to yourself, and anchored in to what you need, the people who truly matter always benefit.
A Simple Mental Trick for Handling Other People’s Energy
Here’s something that helps enormously when someone else’s energy feels overwhelming or not quite aligned with where you are now at:
Put those people and their energy/comments in a metaphorical box.
Not to shut them out, but to protect your own energy.
Imagine:
- Their comments staying inside the box
- Their habits staying inside the box
- Their expectations contained
- Their emotional pull not leaking into your decision-making
You can still engage. You can still love them. You can still be present.
But you’re not absorbing their energy. You’re not bending your boundaries. You’re not slipping into old patterns.
It’s simple, but wildly effective.
The Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) Is Your Superpower This December
You’re going to be pulled this month. Into events. Drinks. Late nights. Favour after favour. Decisions you simply don’t have the mental capacity for.
And every time, you get to choose:
People-pleasing or presence.
Old habits or alignment.
Running on empty or honouring your energy.
The joy of missing out isn’t about hiding from life. It’s about choosing what supports your wellbeing, even when it looks different to what others are doing.
Anchor Yourself As You Head Into 2026
As you move through the next few weeks, keep asking:
- What do I need?
- What do I want to feel?
- What matters most about this experience?
- What helps me show up as my best self?
- What boundary supports that?
When you honour that – truly honour it – everything feels lighter.
Your energy stays yours. Your choices feel aligned. And the people who love you get the best version of you.
Honour your boundaries. Anchor yourself. Lean into joy, not obligation.
You deserve to feel good – not just at Christmas, but as you step into a whole new year.
If you’d like to explore ways that I could support you with any of this, you are always welcome to get in touch.