If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in a cycle – rushing through life, juggling endless responsibilities, and never quite feeling like you’re where you want to be – then this is for you. Because I’m going to share with you the ONE question you need to ask yourself to start creating the life you truly desire.
And that question is this:
What is stopping you from moving from your current identity to your desired identity?
The Truth You Already Know
You already know that the way you’re living isn’t sustainable. You feel like time is slipping through your fingers, that life is passing in a blur, and that despite all your efforts, you’re still struggling to create the calm, ease, and balance you so deeply crave.
You know you can’t keep operating at this level of stress forever.
You know you can’t keep sacrificing your health for the sake of your business or career.
You know something has to change.
So… what’s stopping you?
The Invisible Barriers Holding You Back
Maybe you’ve become addicted to the chase – the next goal, the next milestone, the next level of success. The problem with this? There’s always another level. No matter how far you climb, there’s always more. And if you never stop to re-evaluate, you’ll keep running, never realising that you’re chasing something that will never feel like enough.
Or maybe you thrive on stress. That constant hum of urgency running through your body – it feels normal, doesn’t it? Maybe you don’t even recognise it as stress anymore because it’s been there since your school days, pushing you forward, keeping you “productive.”
Or perhaps you’re afraid that if you slow down, you’ll be bored. That without the endless to-do lists, the packed calendar, and the feeling of being needed all the time, you won’t know what to do with yourself.
Or could it be that you don’t actually know what you want? Maybe you’ve been so busy keeping up with life that you haven’t taken the time to pause and ask yourself: What do I truly desire? And maybe, just maybe, you’re afraid to answer that question because admitting that things need to change feels overwhelming.
I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve buried my head in the sand, hoping that somehow, magically, everything would just shift on its own. That I’d wake up one day feeling calmer, happier, more in control.
But here’s the hard truth: that day never comes unless you decide to make it happen.
Clarity is the First Step
Before you can move toward the life you want, you need to be brutally honest about where you are now. No sugar-coating. No “it’s fine, really.”
So take a moment. Right now.
Ask yourself:
- How does my life feel right now?
- What does a typical day look like?
- Where am I spending my time and energy?
- What patterns am I repeating that aren’t serving me?
- What do I keep telling myself I’ll do “someday”?
Write it down. Let it sink in. Don’t rush past this part. Answer the questions without any sense of judgement, shame or guilt – this is powerful data that can help you shift from life being “fine” to life feeling F’in fabulous!
And then…
Imagine Your Future Self
Fast-forward in your mind. Picture yourself living the life you actually want. The version of you who has made the shifts, who feels lighter, freer, and more at peace.
- How does she feel when she wakes up in the morning?
- What does her day look like?
- How does she show up in her relationships?
- What are her habits, her boundaries, her non-negotiables?
- What does she no longer tolerate?
Again, write it down. Give yourself permission to dream without limitations. And again – no judgement, shame or guilt here – see this as inspirational and empowering instead.
The Gap Between Where You Are and Where You Want to Be
Now that you’ve acknowledged your present and envisioned your future, the next step is identifying the gap.
What’s standing between the two? What’s stopping you from becoming the person you know you want to be? What’s stopping you from living the life you know you really want to be living?
Your answers might surprise you.
It might be fear – fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of what life will look like without your familiar chaos.
It might be perfectionism – believing that if you can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all.
It might be old beliefs that no longer serve you – beliefs about what success looks like, about what’s expected of you, about what’s “realistic”, about what is even possible.
Now Comes the Hard Part: Action
Awareness is powerful, but nothing changes if nothing changes.
So here’s your challenge: Take one step today towards bridging that gap. One tangible action, no matter how small. Here’s some ideas to get the ball rolling:
- Set a boundary you’ve been avoiding.
- Say no to something that drains you.
- Carve out time to reflect on what truly matters to you.
- Commit to one habit that aligns with the person you want to become.
Change doesn’t happen overnight, but momentum builds when you take consistent, intentional action. And the sooner you start, the sooner you’ll start to feel the shift, and the sooner you’ll see that change is possible.
You Are Not Stuck
You are not trapped in the life you have now. You are not doomed to keep feeling this way forever.
You have a choice.
A choice to recognise what’s holding you back. A choice to let go of what no longer serves you. A choice to step into the life you truly desire.
So, I’ll ask you again:
What is stopping you from moving from your current identity to your desired identity?
And more importantly – what are you going to do about it?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If this resonated with you, send me a message (my contact details are at the bottom of this blog). Let’s make 2025 the year you finally claim the life you’ve been longing for.
Other relevant blogs/podcasts:
- Why I stopped setting resolutions and I think you should too
- You have the power to change the narrative (and why willpower and motivation alone never works)
- Why sitting at your desk every day isn’t cutting it (and how to shift your energy)
- You need to listen to this BEFORE you dive headlong into your business goals
And if you prefer to listen to this in audio form, you can find my podcast on this exact topic on Spotify here and on Apple Podcasts here.